I am an only child in my family. I lost my dad in a car accident when I was 3 years old. As a result, it was just my mum and I. That is an aspect of my life that I am not...

I am an only child in my family. I lost my dad in a car accident when I was 3 years old. As a result, it was just my mum and I. That is an aspect of my life that I am not really comfortable talking about because I never really knew my dad. I don't know what he looks like. We all have that aspect of our lives that we never want to talk about, even though deep down we want to talk about them but only to/with people close to our hearts. We don't want to appear vulnerable. 

Growing up, I felt abandoned, rejected, not wanted, and neglected, mostly because of the situations surrounding my birth. It killed me and I'd always cry myself to sleep and be stuck in my head. I rarely smiled. I was always frowning because of the much hatred and anger that was weighing in my heart. I didn't even feel beautiful enough. I didn't even love myself. 

Why am I telling you all of these?

It is because my identity growing up was that of a rejected little girl in the neighborhood. One that was void of a father figure. I felt different in a bad way. This was how I perceived myself, which was wrong. My mum would always tell me that "You are different", but I never saw it the way she did. It wasn't a good thing for me. 

So if you came up to me at that time and ask me who I think I was, you already know or have an idea what I'd say to you. I may not even have had any response to that. I know many of you reading this may have had similar life story or experiences or have totally different stories, but here's my point: No matter how real all of that is, it was not and is not my identity; I believed a lie. I didn't know any better. I was going to Church and I was in the choir. I was in the youth group too. But I still had all these inner baggage and craps stuck up in my head and heart. 

I went into High School feeling the same way about myself (rejected, unloved, abandoned and not beautiful enough). It had an impact on the type of people I chose to hang around with because I wanted them to help me feel good about myself. 

The year came, and I was born again, for real this time, which took place in a Youth Convention in August, 2011. I knew something had happened to me on the inside. I couldn't explain it, but I knew. Years passed and I was still caught up in my normal routine: school, Church, then go home. No spiritual progress, nothing. 

It wasn't until 2015 that my walk with Jesus became intentional . I answered the call to a better life in Him. A call to a transformed mind and a call to His Kingdom (righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy ghost). This was where everything began to change for me. 

I would attend meetings and I could literally feel God speak to me through the speaker on what to let go of and what to work on. His Word began to make sense. I had to go past religion in order to have a real relationship. I allowed His Word  to shape my perspective (this is very important). 

My views began to change. My perspectives  on my pain and bad experiences began to change. God had to bring specific people into my life for these to happen. 

I had subconsciously built a lot of walls. I pretend to be overly tough on the outside so that I wouldn't be viewed as weak and vulnerable. I used to believe that I didn't require the help of others to survive. It took some time for me to open up to people and allow myself to be vulnerable. I gradually came to accept who I was. I was OK with the fact that I was weird differently. It all became an advantage rather than a disadvantage to me. Everything about me that I though was bad and weird just turned to be the fuel of my vision and my purpose in life. My experiences were not erased, but my perspectives were altered. 

That's when the concept of purpose and passion started to settle in me. It began with me admitting that there was nothing wrong with me. I believe in my identity (in Christ) and I own it!

Your identity can only be found and described in God. You are God's mirror  here on earth. Nothing else is permitted to form your identity. You must let our identity in God swallow whatever identity you think you have in this world. Because this is where authenticity starts. Exposure and awareness of your true identity is what leads you to purpose.