 | FECA Nigeria National Leadership Retreat (NLR) 2026: ADVANCE |
Relationship & Love • Paul Enigir • 3 April, 2026
» Updated -2081 seconds ago
4 Things Every Man Must Know About Relationship and Marriage
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Place Character Above Spirituality When Choosing a Life Partner
Dear singles: Anointing ≠ character. Speaking in tongues doesn't change a person's nature. When choosing a life partner, prioritize character over spirituality. There are tongue-speaking believers who act like beasts.
Spirituality matters, but behavior reveals the real person. True compatibility comes from shared values, mutual respect, and genuine care—not superficial spiritual displays. Church welcomes all—good and bad character alike.
May we succeed in our marriages and relationships.
Courtship Is Not a Direct Entry into Marriage
Don't stay silent in courtship! It's for knowing each other better—so talk! Address attitudes you dislike immediately.
Pray, yes—but also speak. Pointing out flaws isn't sin. Silence kills; talking reveals. Issues ignored in courtship explode in marriage.
Don't think "He/She will change after marriage." If something bothers you now, speak! If they're unwilling to improve, walk away—God won't judge you. Forever is too long to endure misery.
He shouts now? Won't forgive without a week of begging? Treats you like you proposed? Yet you claim "God's will"? If God's will won't change, let them go. Marriage is for enjoyment, not endurance.
Courtship reveals character—marriage amplifies it. Use it wisely! Don't expect wedding vows to transform anyone.
Do This When a Man Loves You But Not Your Kids
If a man claims he loves you but "can't deal with your kids"—shoot him out fast. Love without your children isn't love.
How can he love you but not your daughter? Your son? Yet you fight your kids over him? Self-betrayal. Your children will resent you later.
Bottom line: Any man who doesn't love and respect your kids has no place in your life. Love shouldn't suspend your brain.
Dear Husband: Protect Your Wife from Your Mother
Your duty: Protect your wife from your mother when these red flags appear.
Don't assume your mother "can't" be difficult. Wise men notice from visit one: Does your family welcome her? Is your mother overly harsh? Even prayer warriors can overstep—less than 50% treat daughters-in-law like biological daughters.
Some mothers control grown sons like babies; young wives want to build their own homes—conflict brews. Relationships may spark instantly or grow slowly, but you must navigate wisely.
Don't excuse:
- Public embarrassment as "correction"
- Devaluing comments (even in dialect)
- Backhanded insults behind smiles
Correct your mother kindly but firmly. Apply the distance rule: Never complain about your wife to your mother. Divide tasks between them fairly.
A good wife honors your mother. Your job: Protect your wife until they build a stable relationship.
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